By Erik Brandstetter
November 13, 2009 11:41am CST

- So did ya start Mike Sims-Walker last weekend? How 'bout Greg Olsen? Yes, I am indeed patting myself on the back.

- Tommie Harris - that was just dumb. I can say that because you don't know where I live.

- No, Vince Young is not that good. Kerry Collins was just that bad. Chris Johnson, on the other hand, is that good. If it seems like I've got a man-crush on CJ, it's because I do. He's not my style of running back in any way, shape or form, but it's hard to argue with results.

- Perhaps it's my Irish heritage or my absolute love affair with the product itself, but I still giggle uncontrollably every damn time I see that Jameson commercial. Giant octopus = funny.

- My buddy's dynasty league running back corps: Larry Johnson, LaDainian Tomlinson, Clinton Portis, and Reggie Bush. Oooouuuccchhh.

- My other buddy gloated that he had taken "candy from a baby" when he took Clinton Portis at the ass-end of the second round in a 12-team league. Go him.

- I'm shocked that people are shocked by Houston's committee approach to the backfield. Did you all forget that Gary Kubiak spent 10 years in Denver?

- Speaking of Denver, note to the coaching staff - play action passes don't work if you're not running the ball. You got LeBeaued.

- Oh good, Tony Romo and Roy Williams are getting more comfortable with each other in the passing game. These things take time.

- Props to folks who took the "flier" on Joseph Addai in the third/fourth rounds of their drafts. Okay, so he's not puttin' up 100 yards per game on the ground here, but the cat has eight total touchdowns thus far - including a 22-yard scoring reception. Donald Brown ought to come back soon, if not this week, but isn't this pretty much the exact opposite scenario thus far of what the Hype Machine anticipated?

- Fantasy Frustration #18 - hovering around .500. Your players are good enough not to drop, and those difference makers on the wire are probably just out of reach. You're doomed to stay right around .500 for the rest of the season. Solution? Booze.

- I figured the Bengals would be better than a laughingstock. But no, I'm not going to give myself one lick of credit for prognosticating this. The unfortunate byproduct of Cincy's success, however, is that the NFL is a copycat league. Don't faint if you hear about NFL scouts hanging around prisons and monitoring police blotters in 2010. "It took the police four blocks to catch up with the guy on foot - this kid's got wheels."
- Someone made a ton of Benjamins off that Green Bay/Tampa Bay game. Not me though. I don't bet on football. For money. Against people. But honestly, if I hear one more yutz talk about how the Packers would be better with Favre at the helm instead of Rodgers, I'll upchuck. Aaron Rodgers is playing his gonads off. He has 300 more yards, two more total touchdowns and two more interceptions than Grampappy Brett with an absolutely abysmal offensive line and nowhere near the run support. Aaron Rodgers is the sole reason this team isn't winless. So shut it - find another damned storyline. Talk about Clint Session's 14-tackle, one-interception game last week. Clint Session. Linebacker for the Colts? Google it or something.

- Proof that fantasy football is a hobby of short memory and funky expectations - I've heard DeAngelo Williams referred to as a "disappointment." He's already sniffing 1,000 total yards and has seven touchdowns under his belt. Yeah. What a tool.

- Ditto Burner Turner. Damn you people are tough to please.

- All right. I'll give you Matt Forte.

- I'm still struggling to find an all-audiences-appropriate adjective for the Cleveland Browns.

- Fantasy frustration #27 - playing all your opponents on their best weeks. You're putting up good point totals on a consistent basis, but you've drawn everyone on a knock-down/drag-out week due to matchups or just exceeding expectations. Solution? See #18.

- Oh really? You called that one on Chris Chambers? You're a friggin' liar and you probably hate America too.

- Thomas Davis owners had to know the honeymoon would end. That abruptly and painfully? No, probably not. But still, 75 tackles per game is a rough workload to sustain.

- I maintain that no rookie quarterback is worth just shy of $50 million, particularly in a poverty-stricken city like Detroit. It's okay to disagree with me, but five interceptions in a single afternoon is still five interceptions in a single afternoon. Here's the subtotal on the first two quarterbacks in the 2K9 draft: 13 passing touchdowns, 22 interceptions, five rushing touchdowns, three fumbles lost. That brings the grand total to 18 touchdowns and 25 turnovers. Yeah, yeah. Don't hate the playa, hate the game; the teams offered that scratch and they took it. But don't you dare come crying to me if there's a strike/lockout in the next couple years. This snot's gotta end.

- I'm convinced that Rashard Mendenhall will never get any respect in this league or amongst fantasy enthusiasts. Over 150 yards vs. one of the top defenses in the league in primetime and he gets dissed for ALMOST (not actually, but almost) losing a fumble while he lost his footing at the goal-line. This kid could break every record in the NFL and cure back acne and he'd still be considered a flex option. And what's with the LJ signing rumors? Really?

- Disclaimer: The following is a mental health tip from a guy nicknamed "Ogre," so take it for what it's worth. I've been doing this fantasy football thing for long enough to know that at times, it can bring out the very worst in people. It's just a game based on a game which we have little to no control over. Bear that in mind next time you get into a heated (drunken) argument with the best man in your wedding. This stuff's supposed to be fun. Hell, I get a free shirt to write this stuff and even I don't take it THAT seriously. If you're having a good year, good for you. If you're not, so what? Did your life really take a detour?